Campus Orders Pack of Sharpies to Draw 13 New Lots for Unsatisfied College Students


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Credit: Sara Monterroso

Montgomery College has big plans for construction in the near future. Big. Big plans. Plans that involve building big things.

Big things.

Building, always fun isn’t it?

It’s like playing an adult version of legos.

Except maybe not.

I don’t really know what building is like.

I don’t have any experience in it.

It sounds like an adult version of legos though.

Hold on. Let me think about this a bit. Maybe not. There’s the risk of fires. Actually, it seems like a fire is guaranteed. Building seems like it would require a bit of work. One would probably sweat, right? I don’t think I’ve ever profusely sweated while building legos. Except for maybe when I was building a 20 tower and adding that 21st level made the whole thing wobble a bit. I may have sweated then. Just a little.


Big plans.

Montgomery College wants to build an additional thirteen parking lots on the Rockville campus. We currently have 13 lots on the campus and an additional parking garage on the way.

I asked a fellow student (name withheld for security) and he told me that he was tired of wasting so much time in the morning looking for parking. In his exact words: “I am tired of wasting so much time in the morning looking for parking.” Montgomery College has heard your complaint (and you do complain a little too much, I must admit) and they have figured out the best solution to fix it.

Lots 1-7 will be divided in half to create lots 1-14. Lots 8-13 will be also be divided in half to create lots (8-13 will be converted to lots 14-19). This is a bit of math to run through. We now have lots 1-19. But, 14-19 will be divided into half. So, we will now have a grand total of 26 lots (that may or may not be the correct math). 26 lots and a parking garage.

The illusion of numbers will make finding parking a breeze. Let’s say a student cannot find parking in the original 1-13. “I can’t find parking in lots 1-13– parking is awful today.”

That’s how it was before. I doubt that will ever happen if we expand to 26 lots. Can you imagine how that would sound?

I can type it out for you. Make sure you read it out loud though. “I can’t find parking in lots 1-26.” Oh my gosh, that’s a lot of lots you can’t find parking in. I just don’t think I can muster any belief for your attempt at finding parking. You can go drive around in the 26 lots again and I guarantee you’ll find parking this time.

So yes.

Big plans.

Montgomery College has big plans for construction that will hopefully be done by the summer of 2017. (It may be delayed or it may even be finished early, it just depends on how long it takes to draw a line through lots 1-13). So yeah. Big plans. Go play with your legos and imagine how unlike building real things it is. You may break a sweat now and then, but that’s not in any way similar. I think we’ve gone over this. So yeah.

Big plans for Montgomery College.