Montgomery College: Trays Save the Day


Montgomery College has slated plans to remove all food options from the cafeteria. Several students (I only spoke to one actually) have complained that the price is either too high or the food is just not good. The several students (the one – wink) have said that they could find better food at Mcdonald’s in the trashcan. The college has decided to replace all food options with trays.

The cafeteria starting in a week will just be selling trays. This is due to the rising cost of college education. Textbooks cost upwards of five blazers or ten 4 star restaurant meals. Tuition is starting to hit the price of a Mazda or two.

The trays will hopefully alleviate many student’s problems. Instead of worrying about costs for living, trays can be bought to construct “mini homes”. This will be the true purpose of the new garage. The college will not allow cars to park in the new garage. The new garage will be intended for “tray homes.”

This will allow students to wake up in the morning and walk to class without the cost of living. There will no longer be a need to voyage down 270 or 355 and worry about traffic. There will no longer be a worry about making it to class on time if class is outside your window.

The college has also addressed the approaching winter by using the leftover ovens in the cafeteria. This will be a free service provided to those who have bought the trays. Students will be able to heat them on the oven and thusly be better equipped for ten degree (or even nine degree) weather. In the summer, trays can be used to shield students from the sun. They are a perfect way of carrying “portable shade”.

The four season-multi purpose tray will help students to survive their two years at Montgomery College. The expectation is that all funds from the living costs will be shifted to focusing on textbooks and tuition. The president of Montgomery College also hopes to see a few students walk around with a blazer or two with the money they have saved after purchasing a few trays.

When I asked several students (I still have not found the time between the beginning and the end of this piece to find more than one student) about this new vision, they all raved for the genius of Montgomery College’s future.

Montgomery College will also be sponsoring several local soup kitchens. There will be one across the street. Another one across the street to the right and behind the first one. The third one will be across the street to the right and behind the first one but to the left and diagonally of the second one. The last soup kitchen will be across the street to the right and behind the first one but to the left and diagonally of the second one and slightly down the street from the third one. Students will be encouraged to bring their trays to these soup kitchens if they ever need food. This will hopefully alleviate both food and living costs for students.

The trays will be coming to the Montgomery College within the next week. Students caught purchasing trays outside of the Montgomery College will be punished according to the academic code of conduct. The price is undetermined but the president is hoping the trays will cost somewhere in the range of a ticket to Six Flags and a pair of Beats Headphones. The food will be going into the trashcan as soon as the final period is put on this piece (hopefully sooner). Enjoy your new trays.