This past weekend, I indulged in one of my favorite past times; watching TedTalks! This weekend, I stumbled upon a video titled, “How To Skip the Small Talk and Connect With Anyone.” You know the feeling of joy and excitement you feel when you find a video of someone who thinks and feels the same way you do about a particular topic? Well that’s how I felt this when I found this video!
I’m the kind of person that loves talking to anyone, including strangers. I have always been intrigued about learning the stories of others. Whether it is the small or big details of their lives. I think about questions such as, “What’s your best memories of their childhood is?”, “What place brings the most nostalgia?” or “What’s your favorite season, and why?” I prefer asking someone these questions instead like “How’s the weather?” or “How about that game last night?”
Although I do indeed love sports, that’s not the point. The point is that I don’t want to become complacent with the limited talk I have with people. I want to get past talking about the usual subjects, and delve into topics that matter.
The speaker at this Tedtalk, Kalina, talked about why we do not ask people we know, or even strangers intimate question. She wondered what would happen if we actually did ask people out of the ordinary questions.
She set out to go around her town to ask strangers she came across with, and asked them questions such as ” if you were to die today, what would you do.” The responses made me so emotional. I am not one to cry much, but I definitely had a moment!
A woman said she would buy a plane ticket just to tell someone she loved them. A college student said he would go reconcile with his dad. A single mom said she would call her son and tell him how much he means to her.
The results of those conversations really struck a cord in me. A series of questions can get someone to open up their lives. There is something authentic about connecting with someone that you just met. You don’t get to know about someone’s life by asking them superficial questions. In the video, not only did people get to share their lives to Kalina, but they also took an introspective look within themselves. They thought about what things really mattered in their lives
Watching this video inspired me to skip the small talk and get straight to talk about the things that matter. I’m not conveying the idea that you should go up to a person, skip the introductions and ask them, “what is the most horrific thing that has happened to you?” That would be both creepy and intrusive, and that person would run away.
Even I myself, who welcomes any conversation, would run away. Fast. What I am conveying here is going into a conversation with the intent of trying to connect to a person and willing to want to learn about them and vice versa. Think about how lighthearted and organic it would feel to share your heart to another person. So I challenge myself, and you, to skip the small talk and connect with anyone!!
