Jesster’s Corner: A Day In The Life

Jesster's Corner: A Day In The Life

thejessterscorner

Okay—last time I promised to give you an idea of what the typical returning student does with their time. Unfortunately, I could not find one. It is possible that the word typical is inapplicable to returning students. Or maybe I don’t know the meaning of the word. My family had seven words we weren’t allowed to say: ‘typical’, ‘normal’, ‘average’, ‘sanity’, ‘mundane’, ‘everyday’ and ‘‘feline’. That last one is a story best left untold. It is safe to say we’d all be arrested in the city of Ulthar.

   I’m only on campus three days a week.  Here is a day that fits into the statistical mean:

12 a.m.-3:30 a.m.:  I watch these strange movies in my head where I am either locked in mortal combat with anthropomorphic penguins in Viking armor who claim to the be the children of the Norse God Loki or attempting to swim to the moon.

3:30 a.m.-4:00 a.m.: I try to decide if I should go to the bathroom or try getting back to sleep.

4:00 a.m.-5:30 a.m.: No matter how much I need sleep, I use the facilities, check Facebook and my email. Then have breakfast and walk my mom’s dog. Since I’m unemployed making sure she goes out is my responsibility.

5:30 a.m.-8:00 a.m.: Back to fighting Viking Penguin Demigods.

8:00 a.m.- 9:30 a.m.: Reading and studying or sometimes watching TV (Name your flavor of “Law and Order”).

9:30 a.m.-10:30 a.m.: I get ready to go to class. I wrote myself a poem so I won’t forget an important safety tip for handling my ADHD:

If you want me thinking straight,

give me methylphenidate.

10:30 a.m.-12:00 p.m.:  I take the bus to school. Hopefully the 55 ride on bus going into campus isn’t so full of my fellow MC students that the driver has started duct taping passengers to the outside of the bus so we all fit. I got stuck to the side door once. It ranks as one of the most painful things that has ever happened to me and I’ve been shot point blank in the butt with a BB Gun. If there is time, I eat lunch and hang out with the geek crowd in the cafeteria.

12:00 p.m.-12:50 p.m.: Class time.

12:50 p.m.-2:30 p.m.: Assuming I got lunch, I go home. Sometimes I can’t get the first bus out of campus.  Or even the second. Usually the fastest way to get home is in a 6 foot by 4 foot FedEx express box and bill the shipping to Rupert Murdoch.

2:30 p.m.-3:00 p.m.: Put my stuff down, get a drink and look at the list of things I want to do for the week.

3:00 p.m.-3:15 p.m.: Walk the dog again. The afternoon walk generally takes longer because she’s more likely to see other dogs and/or children. Most parents ask, “Can my child pet your dog?” I usually have to apologize for her just walking up to kids and licking them.

3:15 p.m.-5 p.m.: Usually I watch TV in my pajamas. Contrary to my last column, I’m not always watching “Mythbusters”. I’m just as likely to watch “Futurama”, various “Star Trek” series or if I’m in need of a nap “The Joy of Painting”.

Everything after 5 p.m. is kind of a blur. Once the meds wear off my brain loses track of such primitive mortal concepts like time, space, matter, energy and bacon.

Be back here next time when I talk about— something else.