On Feb. 13 from 2 to 4 p.m., Freddy Kitengie, the Student Wellness Leader of the Student Health and Wellness Center, hosted a workshop on the Rockville Campus of Montgomery College. The event discussed how dating and relationships have changed in the modern era.
Kitangie presented several questions during the presentation, which prompted the audience to break out into small groups for discussion: “Do you think you need love to be happy?”, “What’s one love tradition you find interesting from another?”, “Do you think social media strengthens connections?”, and so forth.
These questions prompted much discussion from the audience, giving us various answers. It was not just an echo chamber of the same responses. At one point in the presentation, he brings up a photo, explaining the expectations his mom has of him and his family.
“But the reason why I put this picture up is because for a long time, my mom always believed that culture should go with culture. It’s not to say she’s racist or anything. But she always said, Freddie, you, as a French Congolese man, you should marry your Congolese women.”
Kitengie would even tell a story of how one of his cousins brought their girlfriend to his family dinner on Christmas, and she was not what they expected.
“In our minds, we had an African lady. She came home, she was white and she doesn’t even speak French. For the whole time, we were speaking English on the dinner table.”
Kitengie shared his story to show how he, too, faces challenges in navigating family expectations around dating and relationships.
One of the last topics he presents before closing the whole demonstration is the science of love and how it works. This is what he had to say:
“Actually to research on it, it Isn’t just a feeling I think it goes all the way to your brain. Okay when you’re messaging someone, and she replies it’s a dope feeling. And then there’s also another one called serotonin, which is affection with an obsession.”
This exposition on the research he conducted was the most thoroughly conversed subject out of the whole display. It brought forth a lot of back and forth between Freddy and the audience on the effects love can have on men vs women and how it can be a drug for both sexes, yet for different reasons.
I was able to get a one-on-one interview with Kitengie to get his final thoughts on the whole presentation.
Kyle: “What was the workshop about?”
Freddy: “The workshop was about love because we’re in the theme of Valentine’s Day, so I just wanted to spread a message on love the love you have for yourself, each other, whether it be friendship, relationships. I just wanted to raise awareness on the importance of love you can have for each other, because we are social creatures.”
Kyle: “Okay, and do you think the event was a success?”
Freddy: “Yeah, in different ways, I’d say it was a success by the turnout, the engagement that it was a success. Personally, I think there were some things I could have improved on. But yeah, overall, I think you can consider it a success.”
Kyle: “Now, was the turnout what you expected?”
Freddy: I’ll be honest, and I’ll humbly say this. There were more people than I expected, and all I can do is just give thanks to God because I don’t expect that. I genuinely expected just my co-workers, and maybe like two other people, but the place was packed. We had to bring out chairs and everything. I’m humbled by it, I’m grateful, yeah, happy.”
Kyle: “What do you want people to take away from this Workshop?”
Freddy: “The sense of that they don’t need to feel like, they’re alone, even if they’re already in a relationship or they single. Because it’s Valentine’s Day, and I know everybody’s obessed about finding a partner. I just want people to Leave my workshop knowing that you’re not alone in this, love is everyone, and you have love inside you.”
